Aggressive Behaviour in Young Children – Steps to Positive Management

Aggressive behavior in young children is not an uncommon occurrence. It is often difficult to unlearn patterns of behavior formed in the early years, and children whose aggressive behavior is not managed well in early childhood will usually go on to exhibit aggression throughout their life.

Aggressive behavior I have observed in children includes verbal aggression and anger at both peers and carers, physical destruction of property (from breaking toys to damaging building walls), and physical aggression toward people (including hitting, kicking and attempted strangling).

I would like to make it clear that I am not speaking about toddler biting. This form of behavior usually originates from experimentation, frustration, or teething at a time when children’s verbal communication skills are somewhat limited (toddlerhood). The behaviours I have observed tend to be in the preschool age group (3-5 years), and then if not managed, they can accelerate in the early school years.

Let’s look at some steps to managing aggressive behavior in young children:

1. Identify the Behaviours Causing concern

So often, a child who is displaying any difficult behaviours is viewed holistically as a “behavior problem”. A veil of “behavior” precedes the child and in effect places a label on them. It is vital that carers strip back this veil and identify the specific behaviours that actually cause concern. In doing so, we may actually realize that there are not as many poor behavior patterns as we think, and we can target our strategies to manage the child’s behavior more effectively.

2. Look For Reasons Behind The Behavior

In another articles I suggested that challenging behavior is only the tip of the iceberg. 80 – 90 percent of the iceberg lies below the surface of the water, hidden. So often the actual behavior can make us so frustrated that we are blind to, or forget to look at, what might lie beneath. However, the key to actually managing behavior is unlock the “why”.

The reasons why behaviors occur are many and varied. Social changes, frustration, attention seeking, poor role modeling, and learning difficulties are just a few. The way we identify these reasons will involve careful observation and documentation, and discussion with the family and colleagues.

3. Reasons For Wanting To Change The Behaviours

We need to look at why the behaviours are of concern and why we want to change them. A loud and outgoing child’s behavior does not need managing (because individual personalities should be fostered) unless the behavior is causing disruption to others, or preventing the child from engaging in learning experiences.

By identifying why we want to change the behavior, we can again target our management strategies more effectively. The loud outgoing child may actually be creating a stressful environment for staff in the indoor environment. The child who verbally dominates and bosses may be harming other child’s self confidence.

4. Define the Appropriate Behaviours To Develop / Behaviour Goals

After identifying the specific behaviours causing concern in step 1, it is then important to be just as specific to identify the specific behaviours we want to develop in the child. For example, the loud outgoing child may be allowed to flourish in the outdoor environment but needs strategies for calming and settling indoors. The child who verbally dominates and bosses others may be channeled to leadership roles in some situations, but may need support to use positive language and to develop their listening skills.

5. List Possible Strategies To Support The Appropriate Behaviours

In this section, I am going to highlight the importance of listing all possible strategies, and then targeting one or two at a time. Many many articles have been written on possible strategies, and as child care workers and carers we realize that behavior management strategies need to be moulded to the individual child, and are often a case of trialing and adapting.

The important thing is to try one or two strategies at a time, to try them for an extended period of time to allow the child to respond, and to be consistent both yourself and between other staff and carers.

Let’s look at an example using the steps explained above:

Mark is 4 and has displayed aggressive behavior when attending his preschool.

1. Identify The Behaviour Causing Concern

* Pushing peers during indoor play sessions

* Growling at peers during lunch.

* Yelling at staff and peers during group story time

2. Look For Reasons Behind The Behaviour

Using the step above, and being specific about the behaviours of concern has already highlighted a possible reason for the behaviours. As you can see, Mark’s behaviours tend to occur in large and confined social situations. Armed with this knowledge we can then target our observations to watching Mark’s social interactions, and may find little or no aggression when he is playing with one or two peers, or in the outdoor environment where there is more space. It also allows us to more effectively discuss the behaviours with Mark’s family, and look for reasons as to why he becomes distressed in large groups.

Some reasons may be a learning difficulty, a previous stressful experience (such as being lost in a crowd), or limited experience in child social settings. Further observation and discussion with the family may reveal the answer, or Mark may need further developmental assessment.

3. Reasons For Wanting To Change The Behaviours

* Mark is not comfortable and is not participating and learning to his potential.

* The situation is stressful for staff and other children

* The group sessions are disrupted

* Lunch is not a positive routine

4. Behaviour Goals

Interestingly here, I am not going to be suggesting staff target the pushing, growling or yelling, as I believe these behaviours will lessen as we target Mark’s social interactions and the stress he seems to experience in large groups. Using the behavior of the growling at lunch, I would suggest a goal be set that Mark would be able to sit and talk with two peers and a carer during a lunch routine.

5. List Possible Strategies To Support The Appropriate Behaviours

We may work toward Mark sitting at a lunch table with his peers by first taking two other children and a staff member outside to have a picnic lunch. This seems to be a less stressful place for Mark. Other strategies may include Mum or Dad joining the first ‘outdoor picnic’ to reduce stress, asking Mark to choose the food, and having him help lay out the picnic. Slowly we would work toward mark happily eating indoors with the whole group.

There will be times when we need to seek further support from professionals to firstly identify if there are developmental challenges, and to explore other strategies. When the family and the staff (and at times other support services or professionals) work as a team, the behavior outcomes for the child will be much more positive.

Managing aggressive behavior in a child takes time, energy and teamwork between staff and families. There are no quick fixes, but there are long term lasting rewards as you see children transform,and their self esteem and self worth grow and flourish.